My second chapter( first four pages of it)?

Chapter Two:


Kismet








Jade








1st Period AP English III


2ND Period AP Pre-calculus


3rd Period AP Physics


4th Period Aquatic Biology


Lunch B


5th Period French III


6TH Period Leadership


7th Period AP European History








Relief conquered anxiety. I’d been worried I wouldn’t get all the classes I’d asked for in my transcript. Taking five Advanced Placement classes was a lot of work, too much for most people, but I knew that I could do it. The classes weren’t necessarily hard but the colossal workload attached to them was extremely tedious and time consuming.


Fear overshadowed relief; eclipsing anxiety. A new school, a new life, a new home. The three glorious gifts I’d been given by moving down south to Killeen. It was with my concession that it was done, Mom didn’t even have to drag me from the lushes’ comforts of Austin to come to the mundaness that was and would always be Killeen. I turned the yellow sheet of my schedule over for the crude overview map of the school, searching for my first period English class in Room 108. I sighed and walked off to make a desperate attempt at finding it.


I made it to class a couple of minutes late having to ask a random person in the hallway to escort me to class, but I found this didn’t matter anyways. The teacher wasn’t even there. I bent my head over, carefully examining the laces of my shoes, and stalked off to an empty seat in the very back of the room. I shrugged off my empty book bag into the space below my chair, gazing around the classroom to view this foreign habitat that was my new one.


The first thing I realized was how overly decorated it was. Literature posters plastered every space of the walls, overlapping the original white behind so thoroughly that not even a speck of it was visible. The teacher’s desk was despicably messy: Papers books, and pens were scattered all about it, even from this distance that was plainly visible.


The second thing that I realized was how segregated everyone was. There was an invisible line in the class dividing the band geeks and anime nerds on the left of it and the jocks and other people who wore extremely tight clothes on the right of it. This was nostalgic; it had been exactly the same back in my old school. Though there had been a middle group, which I had been a part of, that served in place of the invisible equator. Both groups seemed to have liked us equally; I thought of us as being neutral. It seemed things would be different at this school. Inevitably, I would no longer be able to remain neutral and would have to chose between one of the sides, being that weird new kid in the back of the classroom would soon no longer be an available option. For now though, it was a more appealing alternative.


I sighed and dropped my gaze from my surroundings and looked down at my heavily graffitied desk, contemplating the events that led me to be here. Mom’s and Dad’s divorce had not been as dramatic as I thought it would be, considering the enormity of their personalities, but in fact it turned out to be a clean, mutual break. Mom was exhausted of the city life in Austin and had out rightly said to Dad that she wanted to move back to her hometown of Killeen. Of course Dad didn’t take this well at all; he had been born, raised, and even went to college in Austin. He refused, Mom filed for divorce, he agreed, and I was left betwixt the two.


I truly did love my dad just as much as I loved my mom, but if it were a question as to whom I’d rather live with, he wouldn’t be the one to come out on top. So a week after my birthday on the twenty-second of June, I was packing my bags and getting prepared to spend the remaining month of my summer vacation in Killeen. After moving everything into the new house, which was actually only slightly smaller then the one back in Austin, I went around town to see if there was anything to whisk away the unavoidable hours of boredom from being inside the house for too long. I drove around the small town, went inside its shops, and even took a brave stab at going inside its disappointedly tiny mall, when I came to the conclusion that I had willingly moved to the most dismal, boring place in Texas; possibly in the whole U.S.A


I could not understand Mom’s affinity for Killeen try as I might, and soon found myself privately wishing I had chosen to stay with Dad back in Austin.


A beep over my head pulled me out of my thoughts and the sound of a girl’s voice issued around the classroom, announcing to stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance and Texas Flag, which were succeeded by a moment of silence. After sitting down back in my graffitied desk to buckle in for the silence, I noticed how everyone’s heads all darted towards me as soon as they too had sat down. I felt my cheeks turn red and quickly looked down at my desk, starring intently at the name someone had carved into it. Nicholas.


“Thank you,” came the girl’s voice once again. “Now will you please turn on your T.V to channel 76 for E.T.V; today’s Eagle announcements.”


I looked up at the T.V, a more satisfactory distraction, expecting for someone to turn it on, but no one bothered. I could no longer feel anyone’s eyes gazing intently at me, but I looked around anyways just to be positive. The people on the left were all grossly emerged in a conversation about the newest episode of an anime involving ninjas; the people on the right were recounting the events of last Saturday’s party with extreme enthusiasm.


Nobody was paying the slightest bit of attention to me, having found their own social life much more interesting than the new kid in the back of the room. I relaxed a little, my disposition becoming less rigid. I looked up at the clock above the whiteboard behind the teacher’s desk to see what time it was. 9:05. This must have been a pretty horrible teacher to be late for her own first period class on the first day of school.


My eyes casually looked around the class before sinking down to my desk again, but before they did I saw not quite everybody had looked away from me. A boy with short brown hair and deep chocolate eyes on the right side of the room had looked up from his cell phone that he had been avidly texting on and met my gaze expectantly. I considered dropping my eyes from his but thought that doing so would have been rude, so I simply stared back. I had anticipated for this to be awkward but instead found the unasked attention he was extorting toward me was contrarily pleasant.


I weighed the few option presented to me. There was a wide open door for me to walk through if I was to submit to its provocation, but I knew how conceited and selfish people on the other side had the potential to be and ordinarily were. The other door beside this one was marginally open; only a fraction of light escaped from its crack. If I were to forcefully open this door then I knew that that meant I would be skyrocketed to the bottom of the school’s food chain. Even if the people down there with me were much kinder then the people higher up, I didn’t fancy being a lowly producer; not even close to being a primary consumer. I felt an unfathomable longing for the middle group that had always been there, I only now acknowledged how much I missed them.


Unsure if I was making the best decision or not, I felt the muscles of my mouth uncomfortably twitch as I gave the gawking boy a timid smile. This had evidently been the sign of reassurance he had been looking and hopefully expecting to see because he flashed me an unabashed smile, revealing the braces on his teeth which didn’t mitigate the radiance of them in the slightest.


The handle of the classroom’s door turned as someone from the other side opened it and I was forced out of curiosity to drop my prolonged gaze and instead look at who had entered the classroom: A squat women with short, fly-away, brown curly hair with some traces of gray in it who was wearing glasses that framed outrageously gray eyes. The people on both sides of the classroom quickly shifted their desks away from each other and stared placidly at whom I assumed had to be the teacher, silently evaluating how strict she might be. I gave a final fertile glance at the boy I was starring at and saw he had decided to take the same course of action at the same time I did. He winked at me before turning back around to face the front of the room and I surprised myself by genuinely smiling. Perhaps this place wouldn’t be as horrible as I had expected it to be.


By now, the teacher had sat down in her own wooden, arched chair and was shuffling through the untidy items spread out among her desk. Once again, I looked up at the clock and saw only five minutes had transpired since I last looked at it. She was fifteen minutes late for her own class.


“Ah, here it is!” she exclaimed in a heavily drenched Irish accent as she extracted a white paper from the top of a teetering pile of papers that looked as if the most gentlest breeze could cause them to topple over. “Now when I call your name, I would like you to respond with “here”. I’m very sure you are all used to this by now anyways….Jade Adkins!”


“Here,” I responded quietly, looking back down at the embedded name on my desk as I felt the eyes of turned head piercing through me.


“Eh? No Jade Adkins?”


“No, no. I-I’m here,” I stuttered helplessly, speaking a little louder then before. My eyes still hadn’t left the name on my desk and my cheeks burned even more fiercely from the drawn out attention focused on me.


“Well, speak up next time,” said the teacher in a tone meant for someone who had done her a deep wrong. She muttered something unintelligent under her breath, more then likely in Irish just in case somebody in the front row overheard her, and continued on with the roll. “Justin Armani!’

My second chapter( first four pages of it)?
AWESOME job. And I don%26#039;t say that a lot. Your word choices are mature, you have a good story here.


The only advice I have for you is to make us understand the character. Make us want to be friends with Jade, to know her. A good book is one that will make you gasp when the protagonist is shocked, cry when they are hurt, and laugh when they%26#039;re happy.





But other than that, I give you 4 stars out of five.


Keep up the good work!
Reply:Awesome! I read the first chapter too. I like this story. It%26#039;s so great. you know u could get like a fictionpress account and post it there. that way you could have all the chapters together. just a suggestion though. I%26#039;m definitely going to keep reading this story. keep posting it.!!!!!



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